Delusion.

Today when listening to a France-Musique broadcast in my car:
"I have read the files, effectively...." and that's all, roger.
I remember  the voice years ago:
"He  was (a violonist) good enough to work in the NOP"
and angry because I refused.
Perhaps that too will be re-examined.

I have got several times this insane feeling in the last 15 years :
Listening to the radio and hearing  somebody adressing me directly.
By chance my mental-state seems not to have worsened years after years.
Perhaps my radio isn't working properly any more?
Or they are tired?
Or it is not worth to do it any more?
Or I am less insane?
I have to consider every possibilities.

Oh I forgot. While fishing on the coast today a women  around 55:
"I am just here to see how you behave."
Perhaps I am still not crazy enough and they had to push me a little bit more?
A guy on the caost: "We have pratically get back all the money"
But who is paying? Me? How should I pay?
I remember  -at work- a few days ago:
"I said it  to you: we  have to continue."

The problem is that simple, why should they use such methods?
They are too much people and there is too much money and technology involved in this affair.
I must be responsible for something very bad and I don't know what.

That's true that I know nothing, just the appearance of some facts.
I am not curious about what I  shouldn't know either, but It might be worth to become.
To take the risk to dye instead of letting them make a hell of my last years.